Sexual Energy: Hot vs Cool Arousal

When I was about 13 years old I came across my Father's dirty magazine collection... I guess it wasn't as innocent as coming across this content, it was more like I was snooping and happened upon them. I still remember the feeling I experienced upon finding the magazines filled with the images of beautiful women who had cast their shame aside and donned not a thing man made. I was overwhelmed with a intense flush of energy, a hot radiance began to coarse through me and my skin seemed to catch fire, my heart began to beat fast and my breath rate tripled. This is power, it's the power of sexual energy and the power that many women have long forgot they have. This was a hot sexual energy reaction.

The intensity of hot sexual energy is very seductive, because we as humans and Westerners in general enjoy experiences, drugs, foods, etc that have an intense impact. Does intense mean that it is good or better? The answer to this is... it depends. Take the example of Pharmaceuticals. Long before Rockefeller/allopathic Medicine came along we had herbs and various other natural remedies which impacted the body in a generally more gentle way. As drugs became more refined and more powerful on the whole we began to experience a greater impact on the body and the symptoms being managed. This increased impact had a double edged sword attached to, it also meant more deaths, complications and additional side effects on the body. In the present day we have Pharmaceuticals killing more people every year than all illegal drugs do combined, which has led many of us to seek out more subtle ways to manage the symptoms of our health related challenges, like Homeopathic remedies, herbs, improved diet, yoga, etc... Hot sexual energy is top-down stimulation, meaning that the energy perks up based on a visual stimulus or a fantasy. Studies done in Europe in 2002 showed that 13 percent of men ages 40-80 demonstrated erectile dysfunction (ED). A later follow up study was completed in 2011, but this time done with men 18-40 years old showed ED rates around 14-28%. Of course, I can’t be certain as to what caused this drastic increase particularly considering the men were younger in the second study, but I suspect the massive increase in using hot arousal for sexual stimulation is the driving force. The use of porn has sky rocketed to the point where now over 35% of all search engine inquiries are related to porn.

                                              Video: Sexual Energy, Hot vs Cool Arousal 

What we need to understand about top-down stimulus is that it inflames our being. When I say inflame I mean that we are being influenced by the experiential, bodily manifestation of the element of fire. Esoterically fire is associated with movement, action, transformation, burning/incinerating, and it affects all the other elemental aspects of the body. For example, how does fire affect water? It boils water which generates steam and steam is the faster moving form of water... Fire mixes with air it leads to the feeding of fire and the increased movement of air... fire with earth leads to the scorching of the earth and if the flames are intense enough the melting of rock into lava. In the body these manifestations are felt as physiological changes. Increased heart rate is the acceleration of the fire principle, increase breathing is the increase in the movement of the air principle, the boiling of water is the increase in glandular secretions, desire and rate of semen discharge. If you can consider for a moment the concept of the chakras. The chakras essentially are spins and vibrations. As energy moves from our base root chakra upward to the crown the frequency of vibration increases as well, and as our attention moves upward we get to experience how creation as we know it is manifests. All things physical at one point were something more fluid or subtle. Let's say you wish to buy a car. In your mind you intend the car and picture it, which is connecting at a higher frequency and less solid form. As you decide/desire (motionless water, sexual/potential energy) you wish to bring the car into reality you begin to work harder to manifest it; the effort and action which is the more dense and transformative fire principle in action. Once your fire is acting fueled by thought and intention we feel increased desire for the car and this increased desire/emotions, water element, is heated up into steam which turns the wheels even faster toward manifestation. Finally, the day comes to purchase the vehicle and once we are behind the wheel it is now manifest, earth element. So the progression energetically looks like pure energy/spirit activates the mind, the mind decides it wants a car, the decision perks up desire, desire leads to action, and action leads to the actual car. I hope this illustrates clearly the creation story all of which was initiated by the etheric aspect which is spirit or a seed which eventually birthed the thought (air).

When Hot arousal occurs energy is perked up in a intense manner and many physiological processes are stimulated, because the mind and the body are so intertwined this means that hot arousal will also increase activity in the mind. Consider a fetish or a kink. Kinks are top down stimulus, they exist because the mind has translated the signals from the nervous system and energy body which are influenced by past experiences, sometimes traumas, and unresolved issues. Understanding and exploring kinks can be instrumental in our individual growth if we can perceive why the desire and fantasy has surfaced. Often when acting out a kink we discover something of value about who we are on a deeper level, assuming we are functioning with some level of awareness; however this is a difficult task, as many of us get swept away in the hot desire to act and the gratification of the release that we fail to see the deeper meaning. Take for example a cuckolding situation in which a man desires to see his wife have sex with another man. Men who have this experience often report a confused mix of emotions and intensity of feeling associated with this act. The act is mixed with all the tell tail signs of hot arousal plus the addition of feelings of jealousy and possessiveness, and of course this is related to visual stimulus. I feel that if you were to survey many of these men about their history you might find they might look at porn a great deal or that the fantasy is linked to an actual betrayal; other words, the cuckold fantasy is actually him sexualizing the hurt as a protective mechanism for the personality. The issue with unresolved kink or reliance on hot arousal as a man’s soul means of expressing his sexuality is that all the heat generated accelerates the activity of the mind and this can lead to obsessing about hot situations and perhaps unhealthy expressions of one's sexual energy.

The natural balancing point lies in a man exploring cool arousal which slows down the mental process and places the awareness back into a more grounded state in the body. Cool arousal can take some getting used to because we get so accustomed to intense feelings. Cool leads to movement as well, but we are in a place of feeling and sensing, so the energy flow is concentrated in our body, hence in a more grounded state. Cool sexual energy flows into greater density, the body, where as hot sexual energy flows outward into the ethers. Cool arousal is very much a Yoga technique, and our lack of practice in this method is why many of us don’t truly understand Tantric sex. If we accept that awareness directs energy it also utilizes the fire principle in the body, however the difference once again has to do with the intensity of the heat and where it is being concentrated. Cool arousal will bring warmth to the body and includes a gentle stimulation of the heart. When we are stimulated in a hot way the energy is activated in such a way that it bypasses the heart and it's power pull to connect us with others and ourselves. When we connect with our sexual partners or ourselves in a cool way while self pleasuring, the slow gradual rise in sexual energy allows for us to not become so obsessive about getting off. When we take our time to connect we bring the heart into play and a energetic transformation can occur, which is at the heart of Tantric sex. Remember what I said at the beginning of this commentary that a man’s strength lies in his desire/genitals/sexual energy and his challenge lies in opening and connecting through his heart. Fundamentally hot arousal often creates a friction between partners unless they both are functioning through this mode. In the case of a opposite sex partners if he is in hot mental arousal and she is not, it’s highly likely that he will push to advance his sexual agenda based on the intense pressure of desire, which is a problem because she needs him to slow down so that she can let him in. This sort of sex can be draining for both involved. I’m not saying that cool is better than hot, but I am implying that it’s necessary that both partners be on the same page. When woman complains about a mans closed heart, she may very well be correct but it’s not accepting him for where he is at the present moment and any complaint about this will most likely create further withdraw on his part. When both parties take there time and allow arousal to rise in an intentional cool way then the rush of sexual desire need not bypass the heart allowing for deep connected sex. Connection transcends our mundane interests and hobbies, it allows us to connect as if on another dimension. The power of sexual connection creates a flow of energy that results in not only greater pleasure but it pressurizes our life force leading to catharsis, enhanced feelings of embodiment and clarity.

 The path for a man begins with practicing cool arousal during self pleasuring. The reason practice is necessary is because we need a contrast. If we continue to practice hot arousal by masturbating to porn then we will not be able to see the difference in effect these practices have of our sense of well being and the overall pleasure we experience. Research has found that after one ejaculation it takes minimally about three days for a man to recover physiologically from the release, and considering most men don’t wait 3 days between sessions means most men are functioning with sub-optimal energy. When I was in grad school and we were studying muscle adaptation to exercise induced stress we found out that for the first 40 days of a strength training program participants often experienced increases in strength. This adaptation was not due to increases in muscle size but rather due to augmentations in the nervous system, other words, one’s ability to lift more weight was because of increases in efficiency within the nervous system. The need to abstain from release for longer periods of time is necessary because it allows us to observe and contrast how we feel, and it allows our physiology to reset leading to our new norm. The overall discussion about hot vs cool arousal is one of balance; it’s about efficiency, the experience of ourselves and our bodies, the desire to choose practices which are additive to our lives, and ultimately lead to us feeling better about the lives we lead.... is there anything more practical than this?

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  1. <3 ... milk & honey....physical spiritual union kundalini arousal/awakened vs kundabuffer counter. sacred secretion . (pineal vs sex organs) or combo/union.
    what is the connection/flow when the 33 steps to heaven collaborate with low carnal sexual follow through... usefullness? intention?

  2. If one approaches sexual Union in a patient, caring and intensional way... then sexual Union need not be draining for either party involved... assuming the man doesn’t ejaculate, and the woman feels nurtured/relaxed/ and fulfilled... of course in this case sex becomes a kundalini arousing technique. Normal, mount and pound sex which is done simply for release and is rushed can lead to both parties feeling depleted... the man drained by ejaculation the woman by poor connection and having sex before she is ready to let him in.... kundabuffer

    1. ...Of course sex isn’t necessary at all for enlightenment... however one does need to be at peace, not repressive or over expressive, with sexual energy... otherwise the block with inhibit flow